We try to find fulfillment through so many different aspects of life.
Hobbies; education; volunteer work; careers; relationships; our spouse; our children; vacations; material items; finances; success; sports; achievements; shopping; ministries; exercise; addictions; entertainment…the list goes on.
When we have a void in our life, we search to try to fill it somehow. Many times, it’s through something in that list. Although I think the majority of the items in that list can be very positive if pursued with the right perspective (obviously not addictions), I think unfortunately, we allow them to take over in our priority list as we seek to find fulfillment. We obsess over them and give them all of our time and attention, allowing them to take over our life. When we realize we still aren’t fulfilled, we try something else and continue seeking in different places. We experience disappointment after disappointment realizing these things are never enough. They aren’t quite enough, and that leaves us feeling a sort of emptiness.
This is the deal. You cannot expect a spouse, a relationship, a career, a hobby, money, etc. to ever fill the void in your life, because that will never happen.
And this is why our faith and relationship with the Lord is so important. It’s VITAL to feeling fulfilled, and that results in contentment in every aspect of our lives.
I know we all go through times in our lives when we feel closer in our walk than others, and from my own personal experience, I have found that the times I feel the most fulfilled are when I am the closest to the Lord….seeking Him and pursuing godliness. This does not always happen, and I can always tell when I’m not putting enough effort into my spiritual life. That should ALWAYS be number one and precede anything else I have going on, but we are human and there are a million and one excuses as to why this doesn’t happen sometimes. For me, the biggest distraction to my walk is business…..as in ”busyness”…being busy. I know that’s not a plausible excuse, but I have done enough self-reflection to realize that is an area where I struggle. It takes WORK for me to just “Be still.”
I talk to ladies all the time who are not content with their lives- their husbands, their children, their careers, their physical appearance, their finances, their circumstances, etc. Usually when I start digging and finding out where they are in their walks, they usually feel they have strayed and aren’t seeking the Lord. Makes perfect sense, right? When we stop making time for God in our daily lives, we make room for the enemy to step in and start consuming our thoughts. It may start with something small, like becoming more focused on some of our other priorities; like something in that list. And the next thing we know, we are depressed, sad, upset, feel defeated, worn down, exhausted, discontent, and unfulfilled. And we get back in the cycle of seeking some other way to resolve those feelings.
For believers, the only way to be truly fulfilled is to “Seek the Lord with all your heart and soul.” When we do that, we are able to see the world and ourselves through a Godly perspective, which helps us be more content in every area of our life. We are okay with our imperfections and don’t expect other areas, or people, to provide everything for us.
It is not our husband’s job to give us fulfillment. He has a lot of roles, but that’s not one of them. That can only come from the Lord, and when we understand that, we can love our husbands the way we are called to and stop expecting him to be more for us than he is designed to be.
When we find fulfillment in the Lord, we are more okay with rejection, failures, and imperfections, because we know that is not how we are measured in Christ’s eyes. His desire is for us to seek Him wholly, and other things will fall into place. That does not mean life will be perfect and that we won’t have trials, but you will be able to have a joy and a peace despite your circumstances. That is true spiritual maturity and where we can start to feel truly fulfilled.